Join the community and let's make 2021 your
year of authentic connection

Welcome to

The Loneliness Guy

This is a place where we de-stigmatise loneliness and promote authentic connection for gay men globally. 

I'm Phil McAuliffe. That's me in the picture. I'm The Loneliness Guy.

Are you a gay man who's exploring - or admits - that you may be lonely by coming here? Well done. I'm proud of you. Great things can happen from here.

I realised that I was lonely as I neared my 40th birthday. This was tough to accept at first. Who wants to admit that they're lonely? I had a family and friends who loved me and was successful at work. I desperately did not want to be lonely. 

I learned that I wore a mask of competence and good humour. I was the nice guy. Underneath the mask I was scared of being seen, being judged and rejection. Does this sound familiar to you?

Admitting that I was lonely was the first step to reclaiming myself.

I got help to take my mask off and get to know the real, authentic me: including accepting my sexuality. It was hard, but I'm now 100 per cent me.

Do you feel like you're wearing a mask and that life is happening to you? Are you the Nice Guy? Do you feel like a fraud? Do you fear judgement and rejection? Do you desperately want to be seen and loved as yourself but are scared and don't know how to make lasting changes in your life?

You've come to the right place. You're no longer alone.

Join me as we explore the importance of authentic connection to self, to others and to our communities as a way to work through our feelings of loneliness and needing more real connection in our lives.

Want to get started? Read 'Why loneliness? Why me?' and get to know me at About Phil.

Be awesome

~ Phil

Photo credit: smb creative

How I serve you


Loneliness and
gay men

What do you do for acceptance?
What do you do to feel connected to others?

Connection is the antidote to loneliness.

​​Join as a premium member and become part of a global community of gay men who want to connect with themselves, with me and other gay men as we de-stigmatise loneliness and promote authentic connection.

Join the community and let's stay connected!

As a premium member, you:

  • access an exclusive lounge on Facebook

  • can join monthly Zoom calls for a chat and support

  • chat with, ask questions to, and engage with me in the privacy of that lounge

  • connect with, and get supported by, other gay men who are working through the thoughts and feelings of loneliness in a kind, supportive - and private - environment.

  • are the first to be told of new blog and podcast content.

Read the blog

The Loneliness Guy around the web

I love spreading messages about the importance of de-stigmatising loneliness and promoting authentic connection for gay men globally.

Here are some podcasts I've appeared on and articles I've written.

FUSE Magazine
FUSE Magazine

I wrote an article on how your loneliness is a gift for a fantastic local LGBTIQ+ magazine here in Canberra. Go read it!

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Gay Men Going Deeper
Gay Men Going Deeper

I came out later in life. Calan Breckon from the Gay Men's Brotherhood asked me to join a panel of other beautiful men who also came out later in life to talk about it. Watch this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper here

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Everyday Legends with Mike Campbell
Everyday Legends with Mike Campbell

My friend Mike Campbell wanted to know the cure for loneliness. So I shared it with him. Come and join us for this chat and find out what cures loneliness!

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Gay Men Going Deeper
Gay Men Going Deeper

Join my conversation about loneliness and belonging with my friend Michael DiIorio from the Gay Men's Brotherhood

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Proud To Be Out
Proud To Be Out

Listen to my conversation with Alexander Gerard about overcoming loneliness and being a happy gay man

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How my work helps gay men

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Boy, am I glad I found this man.

Through Phil’s work alone, I have been able to realise my loneliness and, most importantly, say it out loud to myself and to the people who matter in my life - a major stepping stone in self-acceptance and self-discovery which has helped me to lead a more authentic life where I understand more what I as a human truly need.

G. London UK