Here, I de-stigmatise gay loneliness and help gay men feel authentic connection.
Here, I guide and support you through your loneliness as a gay man.
This is a place for you - a gay man experiencing loneliness - to come and get the support you need, when you need it, wherever you are in the world - online and in your community.
As a global loneliness thought leader, I envision a society where we can freely talk about feelings of loneliness without shame, embarrassment or judgement - without stigma - and know how to get the type of authentic connection we need as humans.
TACKLING WORKPLACE LONELINESS
Not addressing loneliness in your workplace costs you.
Loneliness in your workplace makes you and your team less productive, less efficient and more likely to leave.
Phil and his programs for your organisation are here to support you create your well-connected, high-performing workplace.
I'm Phil McAuliffe. That's me in the picture. I'm The Loneliness Guy.
I created The Loneliness Guy in 2020 (and before that, The Lonely Diplomat in 2018) after I realised I was lonely as I approached my 40s. I googled for the answers but the only help provided seemed inadequate or only for old people. I felt that I could do something to support other gay men like me. I created the resource and support I wish I had.
Are you a gay man who's exploring - or admits - that you may be lonely by coming here? Well done. I'm proud of you. I'm here to tell you that great things can happen from here.
Join me as we explore gay loneliness and the importance of authentic connection to self, to others and to our communities. This is how we work through our feelings of loneliness and needing more real connection in our lives.
Get to know me, my services, read a blog or listen to the podcast are great places to get started.
Thanks for being here. Now, let's get on to de-stigmatising gay loneliness. Let's get you the help and support you need and deserve.
~ Phil
UPCOMING SPEAKING EVENTS
June 2023
Phil will be a keynote speaker at the Hull International Conference on Loneliness - The Search for Belonging on Tuesday 27 June 2023.
Hosted by MyBabble, the conference will be held in Hull (UK) and will focus on destigmatising loneliness and searching for belonging.
Phil will be joining other expert speakers working to reduce loneliness, including Dr. Adrian James (President of the Royal College of Psychiatrists).
Conference details (including agenda and how to get tickets) here.
MyBabble’s aim is to create connections and nurture conversations between people, in a bid to provide opportunities to connect using technology.
PREVIOUS SPEAKING EVENTS
March 2023
On Tuesday 7 March 2023, Phil shared his experience of loneliness and spoke on workplace loneliness and the loneliness experienced by LGBTIQA+ humans in society as part of a panel discussion to an internal audience of Medibank employees.
Phil was a panel member alongside Dr Michelle Lim (Scientific Chair and Chairperson Ending Loneliness Together) and Ms Liz Keen (Executive Producer – Audio from Headline Productions).
Medibank has a 10-year strategy on addressing loneliness and is raising awareness of loneliness as a key health issue in Australia. It’s collaborating to understand the most effective, evidence-based solutions to address loneliness and its impacts on health.
December 2022
Ending Loneliness Together hosted a members-only webinar featuring Prof. Manuela Barreto from the University of Exeter in the UK.
Phil's spoke in his capacity of being a member of Ending Loneliness Together's Lived Experience Advisory Panel about his experience with the inadequacies of the language of loneliness.
English is a wonderful language and Phil uses it well. However, Phil says that the language is ill-equipped for conversations about loneliness. As a result, we must learn to listen for what people experiencing loneliness don't say as much as what they do say.
Phil's here to help us learn how to speak about our loneliness.
"Wonderful conversation, Phil. Insightful and eloquent. Thank you for being part of this national movement." - Dr Michelle Lim - Scientific Chair and Chairperson Ending Loneliness Together -
13 December 2022
October 2022
Phil spoke at the Canadian Human Connection Conference on: 'The courage it takes to come out as gay and as lonely: disrupting gay loneliness and reconstructing perceptions of connection in the community.'
See Phil's presentation here.
The event was hosted by the Genwell Project and the Institute for Social Connection.
Feedback: 'The highlight of the day was Phil saying that by speaking about loneliness we normalize it. I've never though of it that way before.'
Thank you to all involved for the opportunity to connect with others working on loneliness in Canada.
August 2022
Phil is a member of Ending Loneliness Together's Lived Experience Advisory Panel.
Phil shared some of his personal loneliness story at the launch of the Strengthening Social Connection to Accelerate Social Recovery White Paper. The event was held at Parliament House in Canberra and was hosted by the Parliamentary Friends of Ending Loneliness Together.
Phil shared the speaker's stage with leading global loneliness experts, including Dr Michelle Lim (Chair, Ending Loneliness Together), Dr Vivek Murthy (US Surgeon-General) and Dr Etienne Krug (World Health Organisation).
Thank you to Ending Loneliness Together for the wonderful opportunity.
Read Phil's speech here.
The Loneliness Guy around the web
As a global loneliness thought leader, Phil loves spreading messages about the importance of
de-stigmatising gay loneliness and promoting authentic connection for gay men globally.
Here are some podcasts Phil's appeared on and articles he's written.
Join Phil and DrummondCulture for episode 251 of Positive Talk. Join us for a beautiful conversation about owning loneliness and using loneliness to get the connection we need. From IG Live, Tuesday 28 March 2023.
Phil's loneliness story and the reasons for starting The Loneliness Guy and The Lonely Diplomat featured on the ABC Story Stream on Monday 6 February 2023
Me and my work featured in an article on ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) News on 12 January 2023.
I joined Gayborhood host Ed Wilson for a chat about gay loneliness, shame, being a Daddy and how our harshest experiences in life can become your superpower.
I participated on The Roundtable with other loneliness experts. The Roundtable is a show on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation's Radio National every Sunday morning.
I appeared on Michael Rhodes' podcast on helping men through divorce. It was a fantastic - and real - conversation.
I wrote an article on how your loneliness is a gift for a fantastic local LGBTIQ+ magazine here in Canberra. Go read it!
I came out later in life. Calan Breckon from the Gay Men's Brotherhood asked me to join a panel of other beautiful men who also came out later in life to talk about it. Watch this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper here
My friend Mike Campbell wanted to know the cure for loneliness. So I shared it with him. Come and join us for this chat and find out what cures loneliness!
Join my conversation about loneliness and belonging with my friend Michael DiIorio from the Gay Men's Brotherhood
Listen to my conversation with Alexander Gerard about overcoming loneliness and being a happy gay man
How Phil's work helps gay men
experiencing loneliness.
Beautiful gay men, just like you.
Boy, am I glad I found this man.
Through Phil’s work alone, I have been able to realise my loneliness and, most importantly, say it out loud to myself and to the people who matter in my life - a major stepping stone in self-acceptance and self-discovery which has helped me to lead a more authentic life where I understand more what I as a human truly need.