Loneliness and gay men
What do you do for acceptance? What do you do to fit in?
What do you do to feel connected to others?
Does anyone know the real you?
Being a gay man can be a lonely existence. Living outside the traditional hetero-normative societal structure is hard. As soon as we find another man attractive, we work out ways to find out if he's into guys too.
We can fear judgement: from others and ourselves. We can struggle with being enough in different circumstances. Are we gay enough? Are we too gay? What are people thinking about me? What are they thinking about my body?
Ironically, we can freely judge others but fear the judgement of others. Gossiping can feel so good, until we're the subject of it.
We crave acceptance: from others and ourselves. What version of you do you need to be in the situation you're in? Do you have to blend in, or are you allowed to be gay?
You're a man who loves other men, but does this make you enough of a man?
It's not surprising that these and many other issues make many of us gay men feel like we need connection in our lives. Community is an important source of support, so we work hard to fit in, to be seen in a certain way and be accepted, be that online or in our lives.
This need for connection with others and need for acceptance can come at a cost: living as our authentic selves. Not living in alignment with ourselves can make us feel lonely and that life is happening to us.
What do you do for acceptance? What do you do to fit in? What do you do to feel connected to others?
Let's explore what being a gay man means for loneliness and connection together.